There is a wrong way to pray.

Bear with me, I know I'm walking into tricky territory.

Prayer, mediation, 'centering', whatever you want to call it. It plays a pretty primary role within a person of faith's life and for the Christian - it's vital. It is a practice we see modeled by Christ time and time again, and invited to have as one of our own main practices.

We have all experienced different types of prayers, be it the 'Ricky Bobby - 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus', the begin and end every sentence with 'Lord Jesus' or 'Oh God' or "Father' prayers, the preaching prayer (aka there-are-things-I-want-to-say-but-can't-say-unless-I'm-praying  prayer), the lament/petition/'cry out' prayer, the charismatic/speaking in tongues prayer, the prayers we say out of tradition and habit, the Lord's Prayer, and so many others.

Let me again say, none of these are wrong in and of themselves. But they can be.

Jesus often saves some of his harshest words for the religious who put the appearance of looking religious above actually being religious. He speaks directly towards prayer in the often quoted "prayer closet" passage in Matthew 6. There he reminds us that prayer is an internal matter, a movement between you and God - and that by flaunting our prayers before others, we lose track of the relationship we were attempting to have with God and with them.

And rightfully so, in response to this many followers of Christ and the Church have encouraged us to be humble, to pray alone. Though we might not have the words to describe these experience, each of us have experienced the Divine relationship through prayer in many unique ways. We need these intimate experiences - for they allow us to awaken more to who God is, who we are, where we belong, and how God is inviting us to join with Him.

All of that said, my prayer style definitely falls into the lament category more often than not, which for most who know me should come as no surprise. I often don't understand how God works, I get angry at Him, and find comfort that individuals like Job and a few of the psalmist seemed to feel that same pain. So when I pray I know that my voice gets soft, some times overly dramatic, with longer pauses and sighs. Somehow, God meets me there or maybe better I am able to encounter God who was already in that pain.

Which again, there is nothing is wrong with this type of prayer in and of itself. But it can be.

My preferred or default prayer style can be wrong when I'm praying with others. The way I pray can either invite or push away people, the way I pray has enabled those to engage AND triggered fears and doubts - I must always be conscious of this and too often I am not. My heartbreaks thinking about the harm I have caused youth, friends, loved ones, or any one of my people because I have not been aware.

Though Christ told us to pray alone, he also called His people into community and encourages us to pray together (and it could be argued why He gave us the Lord's Prayer following the "prayer closet" warning). So how do we pray when we are together? Do we just pray the Lord's Prayer and call it good? Do we pray how we prefer or do we pray in a manner that removes barriers to those we are with to encounter the Living God?

I would argue for the latter.

We must be aware of each other, even if we are not pastors or ministers or 'professional prayers'. On our own, we must confess our own desires, our own motives, our own need to encounter God for the sake of another when we choose to pray with someone else. This isn't to say there is a perfect way to pray, because odds are you and I are going to mess up time and time again if we go after that goal. We must be willing to care about and have relationship with the individuals we are praying with, putting them before us in all things, to strive after the Spirit's leading and to take the path of humility. That is where Paul reminds us that God meets us, in our weakness, when we pray:

The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

So may we pray.

May we pray together.

May we be a people who bring down the barriers for others and for ourselves.

And may we encounter the Living God there.