The Wake
Change is sexy.
Not simply a change of style but the bringing forth and ushering of individuals, groups and ourselves into a new phase, perspective, or territory. There is a certain draw to it.
For some this gives life.
The life that it gives can, at it's best, flows from the abundance of creativity and giftings they have been blessed with. At it's worst, be the mask an individual needs to name, give meaning and purpose to themselves.
I know this because I am guilty of both and live in the tension of this health and unhealth. I create both to create and to be known as creative. In health, the creative process is living giving and natural; in unhealth, it is an outward marker so that I am known by others.I've brought this into relationships and groups that I'm a part of - into team dynamics and church structures among other things. In a conversation this past week, I was reminded of the power, the wake, that our desires have on communities we enter, as a friend said:
We will bring new ideas and vision to the churches we serve; but we will also bring destruction.
For some thing new to be birthed, some thing must change, alter or die. The sexiness of the new, the next-right-step comes at a cost that often we are willing to overlook. This is not to say that it is not necessary for a community but if done simply to meet the needs or unfilled desire of an individual - the destruction and harm could be cataclysmic to individuals and groups unintended.
Parker Palmer echoes this by reminding us that:
A leader is a person who must take special responsibility for what’s going on inside him or her self, inside his or her consciousness, lest the act of leadership create more harm than good. (p. 48)
No leader is devoid of community. No person is alone. It is only our own inability to see and engage the caring individuals that surround us that we are often lacking. It is through community and another that we might gain the awareness of wake we are creating or have the ability to create.
Not only that, but we also have the ability to come along side and join with individuals who are in the midst of acknowledging and freeing themselves from the baggage of life. Often in these situations, when we have the boldness to ask and call out to them that a freedom might be found for these individuals. Shown brilliantly in the interaction between an individual and Theophane, a Cistercian monk:
I saw a monk working alone in the vegetable garden. I squatted down beside him and said, “Brother, what is your dream?” He just looked straight at me. What a beautiful face he had.“
I would like to become a monk,” he answered.
“But brother, you are a monk, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been here for 25 years, but I still carry a gun.” He drew a revolver from the holster under his robe. It looked so strange, a monk carrying a gun.“And they won’t—are you saying they won’t let you become a monk until you give up your gun?”
“No, it’s not that. Most of them don’t even know I have it, but I know.”
“Well then, why don’t you give it up?”
“I guess I’ve had it so long. I’ve been hurt a lot, and I’ve hurt a lot of others. I don’t think I would be comfortable without this gun.”
“But you seem pretty uncomfortable with it.”
“Yes, pretty uncomfortable, but I have my dream.”
“Why don’t you give me the gun?” I whispered. I was beginning to tremble.
He did, he gave it to me. His tears ran down to the ground and then he embraced me (pp. 55-56).
May we bold enough to both ask another for their gun but also humble enough to let go of our own.
*Unless otherwise noted, the book that is referenced in these posts is from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Barton.