Tending (Y)our soul?
I'm taking a Leadership class this semester at seminary and in it we are being asked to reflect on some of the materials we are going through, and then encouraged to share them on other platforms. With that in mind, you can expect to see more posts revolving around leadership in the coming months and week. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
TENDING (Y)OUR SOUL?
I’ve experienced the burn and the burnout that too often comes from working in a church, the tailspin that follows, and questions that brew up from deep within about calling, purpose, and where exactly God was at during and after all of it. I can remember vividly going into my then lead pastors office and expressing that I was feeling: a distance, a doubt, an exhaustion that I have not felt before.
His response, ‘take a day off and go walk in the woods’.
I was unable to articulate a response. Whatever good intention and pastoral care he had was lost in the moment as I was not extended any explanation on what the benefit might be to ‘walking in the woods’.
There is a weight of the call to ministry, or any profession for that matter, in which there is an investment and an outpouring towards and for another. Not to elevate these roles but to simply state that it can be difficult for those who labor and strain their bodies to the point of exhaustion; can struggle to understand why there is such an un-measureable weight and burden that is carried those in these fields.Growing up in Iowa, deep within my DNA has been encoded the ‘Midwest work ethic’ or the belief in working hard, pushing through whatever difficult situation by sheer will power, and getting the job or task done. I was doing my job well but I wasn’t taking care of myself.Whether intentional or not my former lead pastor, despite his lack of tact, was attempting to point me to practices that are common place for those carrying the weigh of leadership that we find in Scripture. He was pointing me to the healing and restorative role solitude and silence plays in our lives.When I am at my best, these practices are present. Yet my default in times of crisis or exhaustion is this work ethic - I am outcome driven. I will take on whatever needs to be taken on for the sake of another. Which is a danger in a field where a pastor is looked to model the ‘sacrificial leadership’ displayed by our Savior.
Barton echoes this tension when she writes:
There is the tension between being and doing, community and cause, truth-telling and putting the right spin on things. There is the tension between the time it takes to love people and the need for expediency. There is the tension between the need for measurable goals and the difficulty of measuring that which is ultimately immeasurable by anyone but God himself. (pp. 26-27)
Pressures will come, but the question that Henri Nouwen challenges us to reclaim what we saw displayed by Moses, the Prophets and even Jesus:
The central question is,
Are the leaders of the future
truly men and women of God,
people with an ardent desire to dwell in God’s presence,
to listen to God’s voice,
to look at God’s beauty,
to touch God’s incarnate Word
and to taste fully God’s infinite goodness? (p. 29)
*Unless otherwise noted, the book that is referenced in these posts is from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Barton.