Neglecting Maintenance
If there is one class I wish I took in high school it would have to be auto tech. But I didn't. So I can't change my oil, I grow concerned about any sound that I might hear as I drive down the road, and have an unfounded distrust mechanics.
This might explain why for the last two years I have not fixed my cracked windshield, the exhaust (though it makes my car now sound like a tank), or the fan belt (so I'm told) that has just begun squeaking. Contrasting this to my bicycles, which I know how to repair, are always promptly fixed.
I know that the time will come when you'll see me on the side of the road with an extremely confused look on my face probably after kicking the door once my car breaks down.
The negative effects of the way that Moses was carrying out his leadership responsibilities seemed to just sneak up on him—as they do for most of us. (p. 102)
We all have our blind spots and our lack of awareness to them is a dangerous place to be. Though, I would argue that most of the time the negative effects of our leadership are birthed out of neglect not unawareness.
When my car finally breaks down, I could claim that I didn't see it coming - that I lacked of knowledge or understanding of car maintenance - but the reality is that I have intentionally neglected taking care of my car.
There are plenty of signs my vehicle has given me to know some thing isn't right and the negative effects of our leadership functions the same way.
The negative effects of how we lead and live are apparent: are we willing to do the hard work of acknowledging them? Are we willing to allow others to speak into our lives to challenge us to do some thing?
We go and go, until we are red-lining to the point of burnout, breakdown, and exhaustion. Busyness then becomes our out and we avoid actually dealing with the real issues we were attempting to hide from those we engaged.
If one has the courage to seek out the root of their busyness often we will find that leading up to the crash we embodied things like:'
Irritability or hypersensitivity. Restlessness. Compulsive overworking. Emotional numbness. Escapist behaviors. Disconnected from our identity and calling. Not able to attend to human needs. Hoarding energy. And slippage in our spiritual practices.' (p. 104-106)
There is a balance and finding it is a humbling reality. A mentor once told me after he fully transitioned to a new role, he had finally realized that it was possible to find the right job and the right fit. For my mentor this came after years of having really good jobs, ones that many would say that he did well and that pushed him to grow in amazing ways; but until he landed where he currently is was he able to see that he was not operating in a healthy manner and on verge of crashing.
All true leaders must eventually face this reality, or they will break themselves against an immovable wall. There are physical limits of time and space, strength and energy. There are limits to our relational capacities, depending on our personality type. There are the limits associated with this particular season of my life. There are the limits of this particular community and this particular set of relationships. There are the limits of this calling that God has placed on my life, which means that I am not available for other callings. (p. 107)
So may we see the signs and hear the noises of what areas of our lives need work.
May we ask others to enter into our lives and call out what is broken.
May we together pursue wholeness, regardless of the cost.
And may we rest in the fact that our calling is more than just a vocation, but life.
*Unless otherwise noted, the book that is referenced in these posts is from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Barton.