Alone in a Crowd
Leadership involves a very peculiar kind of loneliness. It has to do with seeing something that others do not see, do not see as clearly or perhaps have lost sight of. (p. 155)
Alone in a crowded room. This saying has a special place in the lives of not only leaders but in artists, visionaries, and dreamers. It's not limited exclusively to these types of individuals, as we all experience this in some way, shape, or form during our lives. But when one choose to lead or to articulate a vision to the world, often this feeling is exasperated and comes more frequently.
It is much like attempting to communicate in your native tongue to a culture that only understands a fraction of it and can't grasp the depth you are speaking. There is a frustration and isolation that can occur as you long for people to understand and to join you. When this occurs an individual has options: concede, push, or adapt.
Concede
This is the easy way that gets most of us. We grow tried fighting to be heard, seen, and known. We acknowledge the comfort that comes with going with the status quo. And yes, there are times when we should do this and where it is actually beneficial in order to remain focused on things that truly demand our time and energy. But the danger of doing so all the time carries with it the possibility of losing ourselves, our dreams, our hopes for the sake not shaking things up.
Push
We see this in the child at the mall having a fit because their parent is not letting them do the very thing they want. They fuss and fight - all over not getting the toy. We sympathize with the parent because we know that they have the ability to see further down the line than their child, yet the child pushes. It is easy for us the push for things on the grounds of principle and injustice; and if you're like me, you've become very talented at knowing which strings to pull to make that push even stronger. There are unique times and places in which pushing is the right way to go, when things need to be fought for - but when we fight for everything, we often fight for nothing.
Adapt
It is easy for us to think of adapting as a lesser form of conceding. But leaning further into the idea of an individual speaking their native language in a foreign land. What if this person took the time to learn the lay of the land and to speak to people in their language, in their understanding, and paradigm? People might not still fully understand but at least there is a conversation has the ability unfold. A leader or artist is only as successful as they are in communicating their vision to the least of those who don't understand.
And once one gets it, more will follow.
The life of the leader is a lonely one and not all of us are leaders. But we all have our outlier moments, and that is what a leader is - an outlier. An individual slightly outside of the crowd attempting to invite others to take one step there. It is a humbling practice because it requires one to acknowledge their need of another to join them to make the vision possible .
Or as Richard Rohr said,'We only come into inner authority insofar as we admit a positive and mature dependency on others and freely enter into a mature exchange of life and power.'(p. 173)The weight of this reality is often to much, but it is in that moment we join with countless others who have thought, cried, prayed, and proclaimed:
I am not able to carry all this people alone, for they are too heavy for me. (Numbers 11:14)
This is the moment where we choose how will we respond...Will we concede?
Will we push?
Or will we adapt?
And we will respond - for we may feel alone in the crowd, but may we remember we are still surrounded by people.
*Unless otherwise noted, the book that is referenced in these posts is from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Barton.