A Short History Lesson, the Bible, Dating, and Ron Swanson
The world operates in a very cyclical manner. There are patterns and seasons which allow us to see how things will move and develop. There are also those who remind us that in the last few centuries, developed cultures have begun to break-both positivity and negatively-from these conventional patterns with the rise of technology and the development of industry.
Look no further than to the rise of the teenager as one break from these conventional patterns. The teenager was born when teens were no longer looked to as apprentices for a trade or means to provide for their families; instead they were brought out of work places and given further education. With more schooling came more free time, with more free time developed a completely new concept in relationships and that is of dating. Yes, this means dating and the teenager are only around a century old.In the last few years, researchers have identified that the time period of the ‘teenager’ has lengthened in the last 30 years - with terms like pre-teen, young adult, emerging adult and others used to describe this occurrence. Generally, this time period is summarized by individuals waiting longer to engage ‘traditional’ life markers for a number of different reasons.
On one hand we hear this and understand, don’t we? On the other hand we are reminded of passages like that of Ecclesiastes where we are told that there is nothing new. We see passages like these as a comfort and it also taps into our own personal desire to be able to interpret the Bible for our precise situation here and now.But what does the Bible actually say about this time period – of teenagers and emerging adults? What does the Bible say about dating?
Nothing.
Many will like to bring Paul and 1 Corinthians 7 into engaging what it means to be single in our current context. Yet when Paul wrote the Corinthians, he was expectant of Christ’s return to come at any moment and so calling individuals to ‘singleness’ made logical sense. This is not to say this passage or the rest of the Bible is not helpful or lacking but acknowledge that dating (or courting, if you prefer that term) and many of the struggles of millennials - none of the writers of Scripture would have understood or known about them within their own contexts.
So, what do we do?
We are in a unique place in history, where everyone is attempting to understand what the implications of this lengthening life stage means. Culture, society, and faith communities are just as confused as individuals are as to how to handle this. For some, this uncertainty is frightening. As a follower of Christ, I encourage us to see this as a baseline for solidarity.
As the Church, we should dive into and deeply engage the Text yet know it will not offer us a step-by-step manual on how we are to live our lives. As singles we should not avoid engaging thoughts and conversations with one another wrestling through what it means to be beings with sexual desires. As followers of Christ we should struggle through what it means to avoid sexual immorality and promiscuity while not repressing ourselves but rather embracing a holistic understanding of sexuality.
We must not ever forget that whatever stage of life we are in – Christ’s continual invitation to us all is that of life – the life He has created us to live. Whether we are single, dating, married, divorced, widowed, or separated – He invites us all. Yes, we want to know exactly how that is suppose to play out, we want to know we are pursuing things properly but as the modern day prophet Ron Swanson said:
Blueprints for the future are a fool’s errand. They are like blueprints for a house - nice to have, but any foreman with half a brain doesn’t need to look at them. One day, this year or maybe the next, you’re going to be somewhere else. So enjoy yourself now.
May we ditch our need for certainty and embrace a life in pursuit of faith, hope and love.