A few weeks ago, I completed the Detroit Free Press Marathon. This was my first and something I continue to reflect upon. Four thoughts keep cycling through my mind from and everything leading to it…

• Trust the Plan. There is no one way to do things - no one ‘right’. As we strive after our goals, trust the plan that was developed and see it through.

• No One Runs Alone. As tempting as it might be to believe things are accomplished by individual effort, this is simply not true. We accomplished our goals through the encouragement and support of others throughout. We must also never overlook the hard work of countless folks who set the table for our success - the organizers, the infrastructures, the volunteers, the makers of our shoes and others. Each playing a vital role whether we realize it or not.

• Nothing is Ideal - a mile is a mile is a mile. You may run, you may walk, or the weather may change. Forward movement is the key and as it provides the momentum to overcome whatever might be thrown at you. There is no way to fully prepare for every potential, other than to know something will occur and at that moment: stay in it, stay moving, stay engaged.

• The Reward is Never What it Seems. There may be a medal or a congratulations at the finish but that’s not the real reward. In the end the reward for accomplishing it will be something unexpected for each of us - and the only way to know what it is, is to set out a goal and complete it.

*inspired by alxndr jones’ philosophy and running studio (@slow_poke_co) to reclaim term and point it towards intentionality and purpose.

By no means is what follows is a 1-to-1 correlation but using Paul’s ‘Sermon on Mars Hill’ for structure, I put together this piece I’m calling ‘On Outrage Hill’.

Fellow Christians, I see how extremely spiritual and devout many of you seek to be. With all the commentary and speculation on the meaning of the imagery, my mind could not help but recount the passage encouraging believers that we have been given a ‘spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control’. While I recognize the temptation in myself to jump to outrage or to share that next hot take in our modern social climate, I’m here to remind us all of that spirit and the invitation of God into a life that reflects that love and self-control.

The Christ that we have encountered has put these things on display over and over again - by loving those the religious have overlooked, caring for the ones society has forgotten, and blessing those who would ultimately forsake Him. Though He knows our hearts and failures, He never stops engaging. He never stops believing in us and is the first mover in extending grace, peace, love, and redemption to us all. In Christ we see on display a wonder and curiosity of creation, and a broader imagination of what forgiveness and repentance might look like when He says to do so ‘not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’

After the first wave of outrage, we hear from Olympic organizers saying:

‘There was clearly never an intention to show disrespect to any religious group. (…) If people have taken any offense, we’re of course really sorry.’

If we believe ourselves to be of God, might we respond in such a manner as this? Maybe with even more graciousness and more curiosity in how we interpret the actions of others than what others extend to us. Seeking to promptly recognize that if the impact of intention causes harm or hurt, we must be just as quick to ask for forgiveness and to repent for what we have caused and extend these same things - rather than rushing to judgement, to fear, or to hatred - to others. Knowing full well that none of these things go unseen or overlooked by God and those who are harmed.

A fuller understanding of the symbolism at play in opening ceremony from religious scholar Dr. Dan McClellan can be found here.

Rather, my hope is to appeal to some Christian theological underpinnings that support diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging in our faith and how that serves as an invitation for us to model those principles in our lives.

On diversity

Looking at the full narrative of Scripture culminating in Revelation, we see God in constant pursuit of all of God’s creation. Beyond the markings of Christ’s transforming work, we are told that there is no tribe, no tongue, no single outward identifier of God’s people but rather an eclectic tapestry of individuals and groups that make up the kin (or family) of God. Christ’s challenge to us is to look broader and wider than we might be inclined to in our understanding of who is part of this family.

We are pushed to recognize that God is at work in the places and folks we might overlook—the outsider, the downtrodden, the one with a different theological or political conviction, and even in our “enemies.” It is in seeking to embody this that we move toward a posture of embracing diversity as the gift it is, rather than something that we should overlook or try to minimize, as we strive to mirror what is to come.

On equity

Equity is not equality, though we can be tempted to equate the two. Equity is displayed throughout our Scriptures, from many Levitical laws and feasts to Jesus’ parable of the workers in the field. Often when we encounter these examples in a passage or an equitable situation in our daily lives, when we are not the benefactors of them, it can feel jarring or even unfair, as on the surface these situations appear to be individuals receiving more than they “deserve”: a relief when a debt is owed, or assistance and support that others might not understand is available to all should it be needed.

I would argue that in these displays of God’s grace, mercy, and justice, we are seeing God’s equity at work, and that this is God’s invitation for us to model these same actions in our lives. We do this by sharing and giving of what influence and power we hold to elevate and empower others—often those most unlike us and when there is no benefit to ourselves beyond knowing that a more equitable world frees us all to live and love our neighbor as ourselves in the best possible manner.

On inclusion

Like diversity, inclusion is a common theme we see in God’s character. We constantly encounter images of God seeking out humanity not only to affirm, but also to include. First in the garden, then seeking out Abraham and Moses, then with a whole people group, and finally in the Incarnation, where Christ shows over and over again how a people group had missed the mark and were keeping out the very folks God would include because of their religiosity. We also see the Ethiopian eunuch joining the house of God in Acts and Paul speaking to this well in challenging the Galatian church to understand that there was no identifier that Christ’s work didn’t overcome, and in so doing that made all “heirs,” and we are challenged not only to see ourselves as included but also, and maybe more importantly, others.

On belonging

When we belong, we understand and experience that we are accepted, valued, and heard. In many ways, true belonging is the convergent point where diversity, equity, and inclusion meet. I would suggest that the ache for belonging is also sprinkled throughout the Scriptures. It is the ache in many of the psalms, it is the longing of Christ on the cross, it is the ache we experience when we long for or feel disconnected from God and when we long for validation in our community.

It’s why Scripture reminds us of our belonging to God through Christ’s work, and it is why throughout church history our creeds and confessions have sought to unify followers of Christ through the expression of the love and convictions we share. For when we are able to rest and experience belonging, our energy and focus shift from our own need for it, and instead we are able to offer and extend it to and for others.

In closing

As the great Saint Theodore of Lasso once said, “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” So it will be in our lives of faith when we seek to embody postures of DEIB and the approaches that might confront our previous ways of doing things. It will be tough, it could hurt a little, but those can be the markers of growth and transformation as we become more and more the people Christ invites us to be—together.

For further reading, I would highly recommend checking out the following books as a starting point:

Redemptive Kingdom Diversity by Jarvis J. Williams (2021)

Called to Reconciliation by Jonathan C. Augustine (2022)

Strangers and Scapegoats by Matthew S. Vos (2022)

Reparations by Duke L. Kwon and Gregory Thompson (2021)

If there is one strong critique of my beloved show, Ted Lasso, it would be it’s laissez-faire approach to the power dynamics at play in many of the relationships throughout the series.

I would argue there are two different types of power dynamics at play over the seasons - one makes for good story telling and the other seemingly romanticizes and supports recognized dynamics that should not be elevated, which ultimately seems lazy in the writing and story arch.

In season one the dynamic that we saw most was the former. It was between Rupert and Rebecca that was at play. This was what drove the story and the tension through the season, as we saw Rupert’s hold on Rebecca show itself in different ways each episode. Each time the hurt that Rupert inflicted on Rebecca resulted in a ripple effect of sabotaging of the Club. Ted ultimately overcame and helped Rebecca recognize her own strength and meaning which came from beyond Rupert and rather within herself. This dynamic has returned in a new form in season three as Rebecca senses urgency and adds pressure to Ted with Rupert now the owner of West Ham - most notably with the addition of Zava to the team and the brief consideration of firing Ted.

The other dynamic we have seen play out in three relationships:

• Rebecca and Sam

• Keely and Jack

• Michelle Lasso and Dr. Jacob

If this were a period piece and not set in a modern context or if the show had come out some time ago, I could likely find a way of justifying much of it - like many of us do with the humor or homophobia found in shows like Friends and Scrubs.

But because it is neither of those, the writers are responsible for their portrayal of the romantic relationships between superior-subordinate with Rebecca (Club owner) and Sam (player), Jack (Financier) and Keely (Financee); and therapist-patient with Michelle and Jacob. While with Michelle and Jacob, the faux pa around that relationship we sense the issue as Ted has expressed this, it continues to move forward but the others we have been left to simply accept as ok. Yet in reality, all of these relationships presented that if taken place in real life are ripe and prone to abuse and exploitation.

Now, does this display of power dynamics ruin the show? No.

Ultimately, I really wish the writers would have leaned into a story arch like they had started in season one. Power dynamics - again - can prove to be such a great fodder for storytelling. These romantic relationships displaying power dynamics that are recognized as ethically gray at best, which distract rather than aid in developing the overall story and character growth.

The brilliance and possibility of Ted Lasso has been it’s ability to inspire… to hope that another way might be possible. So may be aspire to do better than this.

For further reading:

It’s time for a halftime huddle: ‘Ted Lasso’ Season 3 should refocus on relationships by Linda Holmes

Controlling People by Patricia Evans

A Church Called TOV by Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer

When season 1 of Ted Lasso ended, I read interviews from the creators that they had envisioned the story would take place over 3 total seasons. At that point, I don’t recall that they weren’t picked up for the additional two but I remember how excited just the idea of that got me.

This is the end of this story that we wanted to tell, that we were hoping to tell, that we loved to tell.

- Jason Sudeikis, from an interview leading into season 3.

There is just some thing powerful that occurs when there is an intentional movement or movements behind an event, a project, or someone’s life. Maybe this speaks to the perceived randomness of how most life can appear and how when something or someone is able to accomplish what they set out to do it is so inspiring.

Even though many of the real life stories that get made into movies or shows are never as clean as the narrative arc we see on the screen portray them to be. We are a meaning making species and long for things to matter in some larger sense. It’s why we can are drawn to ideas like the Hero’s Journey or even the latest self-help book around purpose.

But what if we weren’t the main character in the story? Or what if, as Donald Miller writes, if, ‘the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree’? Could we still see the power and inspiration in the little moments of intention by others and ourselves?

This subtle shift doesn’t say there isn’t a grander narrative taking place, just rather challenges us to not see ourselves as the central player in it. It still means that our actions matter - or to lean further into the forest analogy to state that each tree, shrub, and lifeform still plays a vital role in the ecology of the forest and it’s thriving.

Making this little shift in perspective could offer a freedom from the weight we might be carrying when we find ourselves in the muck of life. This slight shift could allow us to move our focus from seeking some grandioso story to embody (and the disappointment when it is not found), to the daily or hourly little moments of intention that over time can change the path we and others might be on.

When we are able to do this consistently, we able see how the 3 season arcs and inspirational stories of our hero’s were made up of millions of little intentional moments and that’s what makes them powerful.

It could be as simple as planning a walk in the middle of your day; or setting aside time to write or read instead of watching TV; or removing distractions to connect loved ones better at the end of the day. These little moments of intention can have powerful moments of impact down the road.

So the question for us today is, what do you want to be intentional about?

For further reflection:

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

In one of the hardest episodes to watch (‘Make Rebecca Great Again’ s.1 e.7), we see as weight of all that Ted has been holding on to finally come to ahead by his first panic attack at a karaoke bar. Things had been building to this point and then suddenly he felt as if his world was crashing in. It alarmed and changed him in many ways but he chooses to not really reflect on what might have caused this and attempts to press on as he has in the past.

Months later, as the team has began to finally find it’s rhythm, we watch Ted experience another panic attack during a final minutes of a close match. He rushes off the field, no one knows where he is, and we only find him later curled up in Dr. Sharron’s dark office and where he finally takes her up on her offer to talk by stating “I wanna make an appointment”.

Contrast this to Jamie Tartt.

In this same episode (‘The Signal’ s.2 e.7), Jamie is in the midst of his redemptive journey. In his own way, he’s more conscious of his fellow teammates than he has ever been and is constantly seeking guidance from his coaches to grow. Even getting frustrated as Roy refuses to coach him. Jamie demands that he be coached as he knows he and the team have plateaued. It is at that moment where Roy tells him to watch out for a signal to unleash what Roy says are all the traits that he has been holding back since becoming a team player - the things that previously set him apart. These things were what made Jamie a ‘prick’ in his early years but, as Roy points out, when used correctly and at the right time are the catapult for him and the team to move into new space. Later in the match, Roy and the other coaches give him ‘the signal’ accomplishing what Roy had predicted.

The brilliance of this storytelling is that they are in many ways showing opposite sides of the same coin. That coin being how we respond to signals for growth.

There are signals that warn us that danger and unhealth are coming, and there are signals that point us to lean into our strengths. It can be difficult to recognize them early in our journey but signals can come from all over the place:

• Our bodies can signal to us we are doing too much. Or too little.

• Our minds can be signaling to us when we are scatterbrained or when depression hits.

• Our loved ones and those closest to us can be signals if we let them enter into our lives as well. As they can reflect back to us what they see - they can encourage or they can caution.

The more I reflect back on my life, I can see the signals that were warning - in those aches and pains in my body to the sadness my spouse sensed in me, one ended up being a cavity and the other ultimately lead me to seek help for depression - and that were signaling to lean in - mentors who’ve challenged me to not waste my gifts, or honoring the urge to speak on topic or act when I knew what was right.

We receive signals everyday to some degree, so a question for us today would be: what signals are there that we might be missing?

The challenge is not if we will want to respond to them but rather when will we respond. Because these signals will challenge us to grow and growth is not always easy or painless - but it’s always worth it.

And so are you.

So what signal do you see today?

For further reflection:

• Wisdom of the Body - Hillary McBride

• Immortal Diamond - Richard Rohr

• Purpose, Meaning, and Passion - HBR

If I can be so bold, I might consider the dart scene to be one of the best in a sitcom from this century. (S.1 E.8 ‘The Diamond Dogs’ - If you need a refresher it can be viewed at the bottom of this post) This mini story arc is powerful and is the focus of my thoughts today, specifically this section of Ted’s monologue…

You know Rupert, guys have underestimated my entire life. And for years I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote from Walt Whitman painted on the wall there that said "Be curious. Not Judgmental." I like that.

So I get back in my car and I'm driving to work and all of sudden it hits me. All them fellas who used to belittle me, not a single one of them was curious. You know, they thought they had everything figured out. So they judged everything. And they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me, who I was had nothing to do with it. Because if they were curious, they would have asked questions.

I think we’ve all been Ted at some point in our lives. We’ve been misunderstood, discounted, or overlooked for reasons outside of our control. Folks in our lives both intentionally and unintentionally do this all the time but here’s the dirty secret…

So do we.

And if we are real honest, we are more Rupert each day than we are Ted. At least I am. I justify it because it’s easier. It demands less of me, and often is more efficient. It’s privilege. It’s power. Though in the short term I may benefit form this, ultimately it hurts me because there is no place for me to grow as I believe I have already arrived.

That’s the cost of a lack curiosity and I believe it’s also one of the reasons why we struggle collectively. For every Ted Lasso in the world today, there are 99 Ruperts.

Just because this may be our current reality, it doesn’t mean it is where we must remain. There are things we can do to grow in our curiosity and wonder.

A few years back, I had got to take part in an incredible 7 month long series put on by West Michigan Center for Arts and Technology called ‘WMCAT 20/20: Exploring Conflicting Visions for the Future’. As you can imagine by it’s title, this series was meant to bring folks together from different backgrounds and perspectives to challenge us to explore what the future might look like for our community to prosper. It was there that we were challenged to keep 6 points in the front of our mind as we engaged each other that I believe can help propel us out of our Rupert-ness and towards a Lasso-ness of wonder:

• Listen for understanding and lean into curiosity

• Notice and listen to your mind, emotions, body, and spirit

• Curiously investigate discomfort

• Be vulnerable with each other

• Pay attention to power dynamics

• Be generous with your assumptions and ask lots of questions

I’m not naïve enough to believe these 6 things alone will transform us but they are are start. It’s why they have been posted on my desk ever since I wrote them down as they point me towards the type of person I aspire to be. Maybe it can be for you.

So in closing, in a world full of Ruperts, be a Ted.

For further reflection:

• I Asked For Wonder - Abraham Joshua Heschsel

• Say Yes - Scott Erickson

Like many in my youth, I gravitated towards quotes, lyrics and art as I could sense their profundity - often posting them as away messages and status updates. I couldn’t admit it then but it’s only with years of life under my belt that did I really grasp what so many artist were saying. It’s not those things didn’t mean some thing to me in that moment, it’s just now in contrast there is a depth that could only come with time.

One of those pieces of art was the film, Garden State. Of the few quotes that have rattled around in the back of my head over the years, this once remains one of the most prominent by the protagonist Andrew Largemen when he says:

“You'll see one day when you move out. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself…”

Whether the home life of our youth is one we want to remember or not, there is something within us that seeks to know and experience that feeling of ‘home’ once again. Home as the feeling of safety, of known-ness, of security and love. Many of us lose that at some point in our lives - a relationship or the physical space - but we never really lose the longing for it.

Ted knows that longing as well and as he opens a care package sent by his son he askes Rebecca, his boss…

“Do you got some kind of food or something that teleports right back home makes feel all warm and fuzzy?”

For him, one of those things was a barbeque sauce from home that was the answer to that question. This condiment from overseas had the ability to teleport him back, connecting him with those he loved deeply, and the home that he had created with them. It centered him and reminded him that in spite of the chaos and pressures around him that things were good. Or as Ted would say right after tasting it ‘OHHH YES!’

This idea of home comes to a head episodes later in the now infamous dart scene (more on that scene tomorrow) where just before throwing the last dart, he says aloud, but more importantly to himself, ‘Barbeque sauce.’ And as if those two words carried within it some magical power, Ted’s throw is calm and certain as he knew a place of peace.

As it can be for us when we find our ‘home’.

While there might be truth from Andrew Largeman that we need to ‘create our new idea of home’, what if it was less us creating this on our own and instead rediscovering that it is already around us? We might do this by taking moments to open our senses and awareness to the barbeque sauce - those things, those people, those places - that is in our midst that already are providing solace and comfort - the warm and fuzzy - providing the home that so desperately long for, if we would only open ourselves to it.

What if we paused for a moment today to see what we might find?

May you find home and discover it was always with you.

For further reflection:

• God Was in This Place & I, I Did Not Know by Lawrence Kushner

• Garden State the movie - current streaming on HBO MAX

You write because there's fire in your bones. You've got to do this whether anybody ever reads it or not.

So thanks for joining me these next few days in seeing if these fingers of mine still work.

Lately as many my friends and I catch up, there seems to be a common theme many of us are expressing - that being that life feels heavy in a way we’ve never quite experienced. This isn’t to say anything specific is going wrong but rather that we simply feel like the weight has become so noticeable and lasting as compared to other seasons of life we’ve gone through. Some of us have speculated that the weight was likely always there but that the collective trauma that the last 3 years likely catapulted it into a place where it no longer feels normative and often too much.

The first year of the pandemic put us all into a whirlwind and I’d suggest this was a reason why Ted Lasso became such a source of joy for some. As quickly as it became this refuge for it’s viewers, think pieces were written around the dangers of toxic-positivity found within. While these are a valid counterbalance to the caricature of the relentless optimism of Ted Lasso, many of these too were an exaggeration in the other direction - proving to be just as unhelpful.

In the last episode of season one, as Ted attempts to rally his team before the final game of the season, he says:

I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope.

Then after the game, Ted begins to console his team after a devastating loss:

This is a sad moment right here for all of us. There is nothing I can say standing in front of y’all right now that can take that away. But please do me this favor, will ya? Lift your heads up and look around this locker room. Look at everybody else in here. I want you to be grateful that you are going through this sad moment with all these other folks because I promise you there is something worse out there than been sad - and that is being alone and being sad. Aint nobody in this room alone.

I believe the writers of the show did something brilliant with these two scenes that touches on that weight my friends and I have experienced.

There is a difference to a life oriented towards or around hope and a life lead by toxic positivity. I would argue, hope reminds us that the story is not over. Hope does not deny reality, but rather acknowledges the past, the present, the weight of life we are in and points us towards more. It reminds us of the full reality taking place rather than just what is directly in front of us. It reminds us that we are not alone. Whereas toxic positivity at it’s simplest wants to diminish or avoid completely the hardships of life and for folks to simply ‘put on a happy face’.

These past few years, we have experienced a loss of hope as we watched divisions grow deeper and more violent, many of our institutions have failed to live into the promises that they said they would strive towards or positioned themselves to be, the ugliness of individualism continues to take down communities, and many examples have all led us to feel that we are more alone than ever in navigating our lives.

We have been hit with the one-two punch of loss of hope and the loss of partners in seeking the path out during these trying times. This is the ‘lack of hope that comes and gets you’, it’s the thing that can kill us and it can be a slow and sneaky death.

So then what do we do?

Ted would suggest that we ‘be a goldfish’.

Ted: Sam, do you remember what animal has the shortest memory?

Sam: A goldfish.

Ted: That’s right, it’s a goldfish. Sam, what do you think we should all do once we get done being sad and/or angry about this situation?

Sam: I think we should all be a goldfish.

Ted: I agree, let’s be sad now. Let’s be sad together. And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish.

It would be easy to see his prescription as simply forgetting the past and moving on. That certainly would be a move out of the toxic positivity playbook - but I don’t believe he is putting forth even from the moment he introduced that concept to Sam early in the season. Instead, I believe being a goldfish is more like:

• We name reality.

• We name the sadness, the anger, the weight.

• We allow ourselves to remain in it as long as we need.

• We remember that our past can influence the present and future, but it doesn’t determine it.

• We do the hard work in connecting with others.

• We choose to believe. We choose hope again and again and again. In new ways, with others, so that we might remind each other that a better world is possible together. Not because of the struggle, but in spite of it.

This life isn’t a straight path - nor is being a goldfish in the midst of it but it is moving forward one way or another.

So may we venture down it together to discover where hope may lead us.

Onward, forward. - Ted Lasso

For further reflection:

• Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer

• Full final locker room scene

• Marcus Mumford - Walk On

If you were at all around the internet the last week a conspiracy theory or two might have crossed your feed. So let's starting by considering 3 desires a conspiracy theory draws on:

The desire for understanding and certainty

The desire for control and security

The desire to maintain a positive self-image

- David Ludden, Ph.D. from 'Why Do People Believe in Conspiracy Theories?' from Psychology Today

Looking at where we are at in the world today in response to this pandemic, I think it's clear each of us long for what listed above in some way. Our response to situations that flip our world upside-down is often to cling onto things that provide us with these - serving as a form of reprieve wherever we might find them.

For some, that reprieve comes in finding blame or a scapegoat. For others, it means taking some form of action to direct their energy toward. Or it can even mean a complete disregard, dismissal, or disconnecting in an attempt to not engage the reality occurring around them. There are numerous ways this can look, the key is we all do this in some regard. It's natural, and in many ways needed to survive, but this is where clinging onto a conspiracy theory can become dangerous.

Before diving in let me just say this... I'm a sucker for a good conspiracy theory. If you've spent any time with me, you've probably heard me riff on topics like the North American primate (big foot) or extra-dimensional beings (not to be confused with extraterrestrial) with far too much passion or excitement. I'm drawn to engage some conspiracy theories because there is something fun and playful in talking about their possibility. Ultimately whether they are true, really doesn't change our daily lives nor does it have the possibility to hurt anyone.

That said, if you're like me, you might be starting to see friends who normally wouldn't spread or share conspiracy theories, begin to do so. And it's concerning to say the least. These posts and videos often appear credible due to their quality or the credentials of those in it. Adding to this, some news outlets and world leaders are sharing these as well without and critical engagement.

Compared to proving existence of Sasquatch, these theories are no longer playful what-ifs with little life altering implications, rather many are dangerous claims that can endanger not only specific individuals but society as a whole if taken seriously.

The one-two punch of our confirmation bias and what's called the Dunning-Kruger effect (or our inability to 'objectively evaluate (our) competence or incompetence') make discerning reality all the more difficult. Our default is to trust our 'gut'. We resonate those things that have held itself true in the past and trust that it then should continue to be so in the present. Then when a different idea seem to align with those previously 'trusted' positions, we often trust the new idea without critical engagement. A good conspiracy theory taps into this, as there is a thread of logic within them that pulls on our emotions and previously held assumptions. Then when we are in distress we are often more likely to believe the theory because their claim provides an understanding (or reprieve) we long for, a rational for the unknown of a situation we are engaging, and taps into the 3 needs a conspiracy taps into.

Often we just a little work, any conspiracy theory begins to unravel with just a little fact checking around the issue and the people in it. This is not to say there might not be truth in it to be considered but that it must engaged critically in order to see if it is actually factual. Unfortunately many are unwilling to do the work of checking the data that crosses their screens rather trust their 'gut'. We've all been guilty of this at some point in our lives.

So there are 3 tough pills we must swallow to move forward:

- in a lot of life there will not be a clear understanding or certainty to rest in.

- we don't have the control or security we believe we do.

- we are more fragile than we like to believe we are.

I write all of this not to say to end on some hopeless note but rather my hope is that it allows us to rise up and respond better.

That we might avoid the simple solutions or easy reprieve that things like conspiracy theories may offer.

That in acknowledging our lack of clear understanding and certainty we find, may we seek to be clear and provide certainty through how we live. May we demand understanding and clarity from our leaders and hold them accountable with they are not.

That in response to our lack of control and security, may we create spaces for us the thrive and grow together.

That in acknowledging our fragility, may we truly value the fullness of life. We value the life we have, we value the life in others, and we value the world which sustains us.

And that we commit ourselves to spending our time searching out truth and living into it for the betterment of us all.

A few resources for discerning:

• Top 6 Red Flags that Identify a Conspiracy Theory Article

• Fake News or Real?

• Spotting Bad Science

• 20 Cognitive Bias That Screw Up Your Decision Making

A few weeks back, an interesting article by Julio Vincent Gambuto crossed my timeline - it was thought provoking, challenging, crass, and dare I say prophetic and I was exited to share it. I'd highly recommend checking it out but the short of it comes in it's opening lines when the author states in the near future 'very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to normal' and that these forces know what buttons to push because they '...know how to rewire your heart. And, make no mistake, the heart is what has been most traumatized this last month.'

Then last weekend while on a run with thoughts around the article swirling around in my head, I heard on the podcast I was listening to this:

There’s a thing that happens on film sets when a problem is identified. Where somebody says in 3 days time we’re gonna have a problem because this is gonna happen. Everyone stands around and they discuss the problem and then they move on. And in 3 days time the problem arrives because everyone feels that by having discussed it, the problem was somehow solved.

It wasn’t. What you did was talk about it. It happens again and again and again. (...)

Alex Garland, writer and director of Ex Machina, Annihilation, and Devs

Needless to say, conviction set in for me. But I digress...

Often, when we hear the word prophetic, we quickly associate it with fortune-telling and words for the future. But a better way to understand this word is to think of it is as a truth-telling. Truth-telling in a manner that's rooted in the present but also holds true in the future. It is a word or thought that propels the hearer to respond, to act in the here and now.

In so much of my studies, I've been pushed to think about the way I think. I was mostly challenged to wrestle through my orthodoxy (or right thinking) but most often came at the cost of and disconnected with the orthopraxy (or right living). I don't say this as some damnation of those I've learned under or the institutions I attended, but rather I see it as the larger product of an undercurrent in our society that goes largely engaged. A prime example of this are the individuals that come to mind that we an in-congruence with what they say verse what they do - proclaiming love and virtue but their acts towards and for others showing the opposite.

Later in the interview, Alex Garland taps into this as he says...

We talk about the problems... but we don’t do anything about it. (...)

It’s the connection about what we know and what we do.

If you're like me, on many of the phone calls and Zoom chats we've been having of late, a lot of that time has been filled with speculating with co-workers, friends, and loved-ones as to what is going on, what the way forward is, and what exactly this 'new normal' will look like. This Great Disruption has given us the space AND time to work through how our lives and society have been aligned. Though we long for the comfort we knew, many recognize a change is needed for the benefit and life of us all.

But is our behavior actually going to change?

Gambutoon's article pushes us to reflect (the 'what we know') on what's ahead and to live differently (the 'what we do') going forward. There is a temptation right now to think of the shelter-in-place time as separate from when things open back up; but the time between these two we must not disregarded.

This is where change can occur if we choose to engage it.

Maybe in the past weeks you're realized the value of connecting with people. Maybe you've seen the benefits of cooking from home, or the conversation that takes place while eating together with loved ones. Maybe you've experienced how a walk, the sunshine, and fresh air change the trajectory of your day. Maybe you've discovered how time to yourself benefits you. Maybe you've been able to see how prolonged screen time or deep dives into your newsfeed effects you. Or maybe you've discovered on much you really need to drive your vehicle.

There are countless other things each of us could say we're learning and experiencing.

We can each take small actions today that set us up to live out our days, weeks, months, and years in the future in a better manner for ourselves and for all humanity.

We can reorient our lives now to connect with others each day. We can reorient our lives now in how and what we consume. We can reorient our lives now to take care of ourselves and the earth. We can reorient our lives to practice self-care and discover our boundaries. We can reorient our lives and walk or ride our bikes more.

Our thoughts are always going to move ahead of our actions, but we can always seek to lessen the gap between them.

So what are you learning? And how will/is your behavior changing in response to what you have learned?

I'm scared.

We are all scared.

Whether we are aware of it or not, like the subtle buzz of a neon light, there is quiet hum of fear active and at play in each of our lives right now and for the foreseeable future.

These fears might be coming from a concern of ourselves or a loved one catching the virus or from economic uncertainty, it could be coming from the stress being placed on relationships or from countless other places that might be setting this off. There is no doubt the feelings you and I are experiencing are very real and should be taken seriously.

What we build on our fears with, on the other hand, might not be.

Like many of you, growing up I would get scared at night - who am I kidding I still get scared at night. From the shadows in my room that seemed to hold some thing within, a random creek in the house, or the replaying of some scene from that scary movie will run through my head in an all too vivid of a manner. In each of these, my imagination would go nuts causing me to believe there was an intruder behind the door or some demon that was lurking and waiting to find the right opportunity to possess me.

The unknown would get the best of me.

So to this day, when those feelings stir, I get out of bed and look. Though in my heart I'm a pacifist, my fist is still clinched ready to respond, to fight. And you know what happens as soon as I open the door?

Reality tempers my imagination. My heart slows, my hands relax.

This pandemic and Great Disruption are very real, so please do not read this as me saying that it is not. But the unknown causes our imaginations to run wild. Our isolation is working but the cost of it has us has many clinging to information that often affirms or engages that fear that is just beneath the surface.

It does this in various ways... by us disregarding actual experts or embracing the word of an individual just because they sound credible. Or it's that conspiracy theory that we might normally be able to see through it's absurdity, all of a sudden we find ourselves exposing and defending. Our fear turns to outrage because it provides some thing tangible we can grasp onto...

because the unknown gets the best of us.

So what can we do as we are all navigating our way through this trauma?*

For me, I have had actively reclaim wonder. And by actively, I mean exhaustively strive after it. Outrage and disgust (with a side of self-righteousness) seem to be a default response my fears have clung to that I must confront. This is not to say there aren't times where those responses are not appropriate but I don't believe that should be guiding my engagement (ex. when our elected officials or community leaders fail in their responsibility to communicate and engage the situation in a manner that protects the well-being of all individuals, we must call it out and demand better).

Seeking after wonder for me is like having the courage to get out of bed, opening the door to the unknown, and being will to engage whatever I might find behind it. It has meant lots of self-reflection on why a post by that guy from high school got under my skin so much. It has meant fact checking, not to disprove necessarily but to ground myself in the reality beyond my bias and preference. It has meant when engaging another, remembering they are also just as scared and are living from that reality and offering grace... again and again and again and again. It also has meant knowing and naming my boundaries with people and with the news cycle.

A majority of the time, I haven't done this well - Megan can attest to that - but when I have the fear I have has seemed to move to it's proper place and the unknown doesn't scare me as much.

And that's been a small step I'm taking so that the unknown doesn't get the best of me.

What about you? How you have engaged your fear?

* I hope it goes without saying that in the days, weeks, months, and yes even years to follow, in addition to listening to the experts in their respective fields for how we proceed as a society, we must also lean into the guidance of trauma therapists and specialists will be even more important as we regain our bearings.

When Jesus taught his followers to pray, we are told it wasa little some thing like this…

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

(in some traditions they add  “For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, for ever. Amen.”)

Growing up within a Lutheran context, these words shaped meand my faith in ways that I continue to be able to acknowledge and see. Thisprayer has given me words when I lack them, given me strengthen when life seemsto overwhelm me, given me a vision for who God is and what faith and faithfulnessmight look like, and shaped how I actually viewed God.

While I don’t believe it the intention of this prayer Christ gave us was meant to do harm to his followers as it was a deeply counter-cultural way to confront the cult of Rome that he encountered in the world of that time. I do believe the way we as a people since have used it has affirmed an image of God that is very masculine-centric – starting with the use of Father and then the kingdom imagery.  These terms in and of themselves are very helpful and do reflect a part of God and God’s reign but left to our own imaginations and desires, I have come to believe through many patience voices and wise scholars, begins to shape an image of God that negates the feminine and undermines the equality, equity, and liberation Christ began ushering in and invites humanity to.

What this has meant for me was that when I thought of God, I thought of a man. I thought of a Being in my own image and likeness – that being a white, cis male in America – and yes, there has been a lot of baggage that I’ve been confronting with that.  The God that I thought of really agreed with me and my preferences a lot.

The God that I thought of who would ‘give us this day ourdaily break’ operated much more like a genie that might grant a wish or two ifthings went ‘right’.

The God that I thought of really liked me and really didn’tlike the people I didn’t like – which in practice meant I didn’t need forgivenessor needed to grant forgiveness.

The God that I thought of only need to deliver me from evil, not expose the evil that I perpetrated both knowningly and unknowingly.

That God was an idol of my own creating.

And I think many of us have made a similar idol.

So years ago, a process began that continues onto today of tearing down this idol, seeking to be transformed by the Deity that Christ was actually pointing us to and who he embodied.  It’s been a messy journey, filled with lots of mistakes and things said and thought that exposed how much the systems and structures, power and principalities, have shaped how I view God and how I engaged those around me. Even today, without thinking I might launch into a prayer by starting with 'Father...' as it is so deeply ingrained in me.

Over that time, certain practices have been helpful and one of them I have revisited has been prayer. Specifically centering around the prayer above, only with a minor slight change, it goes like this...

Our Mother who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kin-dom come.

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kin-dom and the power and the glory, for ever.

Amen

It’s the same but different. It stays true to message of Christ when he originally offered it to us, and maybe if you're like me, it causes us to visualize different things, to feel different emotions, to confront long held beliefs that stubbornly remain and aid in tearing down the god-idol we’ve created over the course of our life.

Maybe this is some thing you need to shake the dust off of afaith that seems disconnected from the realities of this world.

Maybe this seems a bit too out there and you’re questioningmy orthodoxy.

Regardless of where you might find yourself with this, Ihope it invites you to acknowledge that god-idol that we all naturally have builtand encourage you to seek a little longer.

None of what I am saying here is new, in fact there are many who have said so much more on this.

For more on God as Mother or the feminine aspect of God to check out this, this, and this.

For more on the kin-dom, here are some links I found very useful. here, here, and here.

And as always, if any of this stirs some thing in you, share it in the comments below. Or if you’d like to talk, send me a message, let’s get a drink and chat.

Now reviewing the Bible is always tricky, as going from translation to translation we see differences that can have not only deep theological implications but also that deeply influence the praxis, or how the faith is then lived out in the world we find ourselves in. So let me be clear right away, this is not a review of these two different translations. But it’s important for me to say -

I have a deep reverence and appreciation for the Bible; that said I don’t worship the Bible or the Text but rather the God it points to.After getting my BA in Religion and my Master of Divinity, I am convinced that the Bible is one of the most challenging texts to read and engage well.I believe it should be.And I believe if one isn’t challenged by what one finds it in, there might be some bigger questions we need to be engaging.

For those who would like to know, my preferred translation is the NRSV.That said, I have found reading a translation I would not normally turn to causes me to slow down and reflect. Reflect on my own bias and interpretation, to wrestle over the translators choices in a passage but also to acknowledge and wrestle through why I might be resistant or accepting of their choices. I would recommend Matt Laidlaw’s How We Read the Bible as a great springboard into understanding how we engage the Text throughout our lives.

So what am I reviewing then? Well, this is a review of sorts of the format of these reader’s editions. It has been my experience that when you talk to any bibliophile, you quickly discover their love for not only the written word but the actual experience of reading – the thrill of cracking open a spine to the smell of a book to the feel of the pages as they go through your fingers when turning a page and the like. And whether you consider yourself a bibliophile or not, the experience of reading has influenced you in some way as well.

So when we read the Bible, it is no different.

Whether one is from the Christian tradition or not, the paper typically used in holy books - called scritta paper - would typically be one of the first things one would describe. Somehow this thin paper is strong enough to take the abuse of a reader that is often moving throughout the pages more frequently than most other books, while also able to holding any notes or markings placed on it. The chapter and verse found in a Bible are markers help to serve both as a reference but also a way of pacing the reader. And finally, the double columns and font selected act as mental markers for readers to notice that there is some thing different about what they are reading.Looking back over how I have engaged and used a Bible, I noticed a trend that you might also be able to relate to. That being, I'd lose sight of the Text itself. When my love for the Bible really began to gain traction, I dove deep into it. Carrying with me a little NASB thinline version almost wherever I went. I would highlight and underline, squeeze in notes wherever I could. I read and read and read. I believe over the course of a year, I read through this tiny Bible 3 times. It was on that final lap through the Bible during especially during services and Bible studies, I began to notice some thing – I was reading less and less of the actual Text and drawn more to all the notes and was constantly attempting to connect the dots of why some of them were important to remember.This is not to say that there was any fault in those notes but rather I became aware of where my attention was going.  Because of this I decided to retire that Bible, to start anew, and began changing how I took notes. I chose to only put markings in the margin – nothing in text itself. A line down the side to ‘highlight’, to a star or dot or arrow to draw myself to a word or phrase. That’s it. It was simple and is the method I use to this day for all of my reading.It was around 5 years ago that I encountered a Kickstarter campaign for a new Bible called Bibliotheca. This came around the time the final year of finishing up my masters, and my love of books and words had begun to grow in ways I had not expected. The premise of this edition was to remove all the tradition markings of modern Bibles – headings, chapter and verse markings, red letters, cross references, etc.. Though not ‘new’, the design concept of Bibliotheca got me though it’s price kept me from ordering. It always in the back of my mind as that next step I needed as I sought to ‘rewire’, if you will, how I engaged the Bible especially in times of devotion as I had hit a long season of reading the Bible as being more of a task rather than a gift.Nearly 2 years passed and I was given a copy of the CSB Reader’s Bible at a conference I was attending for work. Unlike the Bibliotheca, this was one volume instead of 5. I was hooked. I stopped having a pen by me and made no markings as I read in the mornings and I noticed some thing – that a ‘rewiring’ had begun in some way. My mind and my body engaged what I was reading differently. Things felt new… richer even. I was interested in reading the Bible again as whatever self-imposed shame I was carrying for not reading ‘enough’ was lessened.

Flash forward to just a few months ago, I was at another conference and as is my practice, I’ll look to see what books publishers are offering and I saw Crossway’s ESV Reader’s Bible 6-Volume Set. Like the Bibliotheca, this set was broken down into multiple volumes and moves away from the scritta paper. Having used the ESV years prior, though some might argue with me on this, it’s readability compared to the CSB was welcomed.  A few weeks later, I was able to get a set. Building off of what I experienced with the CSB, and having just segments of the Bible in hand, the feeling of the cover, the pages through my fingers, and the design connected with me and reminded me of a number of places in the Bible where we are told that engaging the Text is meant to be not only an exercise of the mind but a very tactile experience. One of those times is in the  book of Ezekiel where we read:

"Son of man," he said to me, "feed your stomach and fill your belly with this scroll I am giving you." So I ate it, and it was as sweet as honey in my mouth.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that reading, especially reading the Bible, we should experience that sweetness. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be challenged or wrestle through it or ourselves – but rather there should be no shame in or how we engage. Each of us are different in what ‘clicks’ when we read and my hope in writing this is simply to encourage you to find and lean into what ‘clicks’ for you. It could be on your iPhone or from the old family Bible, or anything in between. But how we engage the text matters and sets us on a much larger trajectory for how we then live. And that matters a lot.For me, I can’t recommend both of these Reader’s editions enough.

Note: I received both of Bibles from the publishers in exchange for my honest thoughts and review.

For the sake of transparency, this is a bias review.The simple reality is that I’m reviewing a book by a close friend of mine. Matt Laidlaw and I have known each other for over 10 years, he has been my boss and mentor, groomsmen and one of my most trusted friends. There are few people who have helped shaped and guide who I am more in my adult years - if I had a Mount Rushmore of influential people, Matt would most certainly be found there.That said, our relationship has been built on the trust of the other to say the hard things – to support, but most importantly challenge when necessary. While I can’t say I am consciously holding back or toning things down in my review, I wanted to name this to help lend insight as you dive into my review of his first book from Fuller Youth Institute, “How We Read the Bible: 8 Ways to Engage the Bible with Our Students”.[For a visual recap of the book, check out my notes over at Illustrated Book Notes]The Writing:Though Matt no longer works at a church, as the book unfolds, it displays one thing for certain – a pastor pastors regardless of their context. His writing style, tone, and invitation speaks in a manner of an individual who not only deeply loves the Bible but from an individual who both personally and from within a ministry context has wrestled through the implications of how we read the Bible and deeply cares for how that affects us personally and those we interact with. It is narrative driven, showing readers a way not simply telling them of the Bible’s importance in their walk of faith.The Content:Though the subtitle might keep those who aren’t youth workers away from picking up, I would argue this is a resource for all Christians – especially those who are leading and pastoring individuals of all ages. It’s themes and overall arc display how it is a needed resource to the Church whole and also a reminder for those who might feel or find themselves homeless in their faith that they are not alone in the journey they find themselves on. Though you might be able to read between the lines on where Matt might land theologically, he mirrors Fuller Youth Institutes approach in not prescribing his theological leanings and experience as the best way forward. Instead Matt masterfully and graciously displays an ‘include and transcend’ posture to how he has personally grown in how he approaches the Bible. He is quick to avoid any type of arrival language, which echoes throughout the book as you can see him pulling from each ‘way’ he has engaged the Bible throughout his life to show how each is necessary and beautiful (along with their potential shortcomings) as we grow in life and faith.I appreciated that from the get go, Matt quickly addressed differences and implications of focusing solely answering the question ‘What is the Bible?’ towards moving to addressing the importance of how we read the Bible. Or to put it another way, that how we engage and answer the question of ‘What is the Bible?’ is a very important one. It is a big tree in the forest that must be addressed, but often we can get caught up in that question and stuck there; instead of recognizing that the Bible should launch us into the full forest of life – helping us to move along and how we are reading the Bible helps energize that journey.Matt also concludes each chapter concludes with questions and next steps for individuals to do on their own but also a section for those in ministry or leading a ministry to consider – a helpful reminder that transformation and growth must start first with the individual and then flow to a community.My Takeaway:I’m so grateful for this book.Through Matt’s pastoral writing style, I was able to connect his story to my own and remember the love for the Bible that was once so prominent in my life. It got me excited to revisit the Bible again, which is a difficult confession since I hold an MDiv, and not as some checklist in hopes of connecting with God but rather another connecting point with a God I believe cares deeply about today and the moment we find ourselves in. This book reminded me how much I am naturally drawn towards conversations with people around what the Bible is and that I have rarely invited people into actually reading it and experiencing. Matt challenged myself and readers to not avoid the former but rather to make sure we are constantly striving towards the latter – to dive into the mess and mystery of life and faith and the Bible.Though I understand why the publisher positioned to book as it did to focus on young people/students, this book is, again, a needed resource for the Church. I would recommend this for anyone in ministry, for parents, and for those looking for a way to reconnect with the Bible.Because how we read the Bible is really matters.Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for my honest thoughts and review._My GoodReads rating: 4/5To understand how I rate books, please check out the following post.

Lately I've watched this interaction, or a variation of it, take place a lot on my social media feed...Person A posts an article point out an injustice they have observed carried out by a group or government and invites others call for reform/justice.Person B comments that this occurred just years prior and no one spoke up, the media might not even had reported on it.Person A states that we need to do some thing about it.Person B responds with a meme that slightly mocks Person A and the fact that these things happened prior.Person B follows by asking "Where were you when this happened before? Where was your outrage then?"The conversation then continues on slowly growing away from the point of the main post - with both individuals who would each say they care about justice unwilling to say that agree with each other and to come together to call out the actions currently taking place because they can't fully agree on other things not directly connected to the issue posted.In the midst of all of this, those individuals experiencing the injustice are forgotten about, becoming chips to be played in a conversation defending an ideology.Of course, this isn't a perfect example but I think we have all seen this in some manner.It is in those moments I see how stubborn we have become.I see how much work there is to be done.I am overwhelmed with despair as it seems so hopeless.And for those of us who call ourselves Christians, I have seen how much we all have aligned our religious devotion to that of the state.  Whether liberal or conservative, we have chosen to believe that questioning anything or doubting in the slightest of whatever ideology we hold somehow weakens it or makes it less authoritative.This is simply not true.A liberal challenging liberal leaders doesn't make you any less of a liberal.A conservative challenging conservative policies doesn't make you any less of a conservative.Challenge. Doubt. Question. These are things that make us better humans, makes better communities, and makes a better world for all. Challenge, doubt, and question remind us that we haven't arrived, that we have blind-spots, that we've hurt others, and that we need to keep seeking a better way.Whenever a conversation pivots to the "where were you when...?" types of things, we have already made a step away from engaging the present. This is not to say that we don't need engage and make right what happened in the past; but rather we must never forget that the present matters. The present is where we can choose to not repeat or continue on the injustices of the past.  And because of that we should never downplay play when people or groups become aware or are awoken of injustices because there will always been a time that we all can look back and say we were naive to the struggles and oppression experienced by others in the world.What if in the example above Person B would have first responded with some thing like, 'Wow, I'm in. Let's call this out!' Then followed up in another comment or in a direct message saying 'Hey, there's lots to be done. Let's work together on this and also I've seen stuff like this happen in our past, want to join me in helping to right those wrongs as well? I'd love to tell you more.'Sure, Person A might not jump at the opportunity to engage but at least we are reminded of a shared bond for justice. Person A might express lament or outrage in a manner on the injustice in a way we don't agree with or understand but that doesn't mean we discount it.  The experience of injustice is an ache none of us can really hold and what it manifests inside of us must be expressed, it needs to be expressed, because it is a witness, a prophetic witness if you will, to the world that things are not right and things must change.Maybe all of this is a naive notion of what could occur but it captures my imagination as to what we might do and challenges me to engage anyone I interact with in a manner that invites us both to work together.And might it do the same for you._ _Today, may we seek to stay in the present.May we be a prophetic witnesses to the world.May we hear and respond to the calls to stand for justice wherever they may be found.May we say truth to power, may we call for reform and accountability.May we choose the side of the oppressed.May we seek understanding so that we might grow together.And may we remember the past, hope for the future, and engage the present as fully as possible.

I am in the lull of emotions as I write this.That moment where you feel numb but sense that next wave of loss and sadness on the verge of hitting.Grief is never predicable.It’s inconsistent and powerful.For me it is clear reminder of the reality of both/and while strangely holding onto the absoluteness of death.All of this over the love I had for a dog, my sweet Fenway.Many of you have had the privilege of meeting her and she was a sweetheart though she might not first let you know. My little fox without a neck (that’s my shorthand for her chow/shepherd breed). If I had to type her on the Enneagram I might say she’s a 1, or maybe an extremely healthy 4. She was certain of herself and was only going to do what she wanted to do – even if that meant waiting 48 hours to go to the bathroom due to rain. Yet she was fiercely loyal. Once she had chosen you, you had better believe she would be your protector as she would display by her taking watch just sloightly outside of the group, looking outward or following you as you went around your routine (maybe better herding you through your day). Fenway was one of a kind dog.We never actually knew her age – which I think helped her age even more gracefully. She came into my life in fall of 2012 as I adopted her from the amazing Carter family who the initially rescued her some 8 years prior when she was anywhere from 1-3 years old. My 4 years with Fen - #fenwayisms - took us to 3 different homes and 2 different cities, 4 jobs, and 7 roommates. She saw me at my best and at my worst, constantly shedding more hair than seemed physically possible while constantly offering love and the silent reminder that I wasn’t alone in a way that our pets seem to be able to do in such a unique way. Shortly before Megan and I married in 2016 and having to acknowledge that our future home would not be a good fit for her as she aged, my parents graciously opened their home and life up to Fenway knowing full well they were going to be helping her finish things well. Their home was a senior dogs paradise – heated floors, a near 1 acre fenced in yard, and a fellow senior dog, Shadow, who whether either of them would admit it became each other’s trusted friend and partner in crime.Earlier this week, I received the call that I had been trying to convince myself wouldn’t come. Over the weekend, Fenway’s health had started to diminish rapidly, and though my parents and I had already talked that the time was nearing, it was clear that that time was now. So earlier today Fenway was put down.And it’s hard. Harder than I could have ever expected.Pets are amazing things to have enter our lives. Our connection with them can only often be felt in the extremes – loss, sickness - or in hindsight. Much like any other relationship, it is easy for us to take our time and interaction for granted but mourn the loss of it when it is gone.So my friends, may we not take each other – or our pets - for granted. May we learn from the “Fenways” in our lives and take on the practice of presence, the practice of delight, and the practice of love.Grace and Peace. Love you all.[easingslider id="2579"]

As much as I hate to say it, there isn’t much middle ground when it comes to Rob Bell. And really none of that comes from Rob himself or at least the ideas he puts forth have always striven to continue what he has called God’s always expanding ‘inclusivity in the exclusivity’ (I might also add is a very Barthian way of thinking for you fellow theology nerds). Though early on in my exposure to Rob I was resistant to this thought, as the years have passed I discovered a deep and ever growing need for this, God’s most scandalous action, grace.I say all of this, to acknowledge that most who read this book or engage it have probably already made up their mind on how they will receive it. And when I say most, I include myself, regardless of which side or perspective you find yourself in we come to the book being open or closed to what it holds. But then there is there is this small slice who will pick up this book who don’t know Rob, who don’t know the controversy that was Love Wins, who have a longing for connection with something larger than themselves, or who have been hurt by the structures and systems that have become the ‘church’. This latter group, I would argue, is who Rob has always deeply desired to connect with and bring a needed fresh and good word to. Of course, I believe he also hopes to challenge the machine that has become American Christianity and he hopes to keep journeying alongside those who have resonated with his message but I believe that this is only secondary to that smaller 'slice'.With all this in mind, as a pastor and preacher that has drawn attention for his provocative engagement of the Bible throughout the years, Rob set out to answer many of the questions he has been asked throughout the years from individuals and groups concerning it. These questions helped form this book and ultimately gave it, it’s title. Below are a few my thoughts on What is the Bible? that I hope are helpful if you are considering reading it (and if you decide to read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts as well).

The Writing:

To receive Rob’s writing well, you have to be familiar with his speech and cadence. If you are not, the formatting of the text alone will drive you up the wall. But if you have heard him speak, for only 10 minutes on an old Nooma or part of an interview, all of a sudden his books have the ability to become very conversational and dare I say intimate.Through this conversational approach, Rob willingly engages topics, subjects, and struggles that many are often afraid to address – especially leaders within the Church. Rob doesn’t run from the complexity found in the text but invites readers to breathe a sigh of relief that whatever question or doubt that might come to mind won’t and can’t scare off God, and reminds readers that God actually welcomes them.

The Content:

First, a familiar critique of Rob is that he asks a lot of questions but doesn't offer many answers. I might suggest that this critique can’t really be applied to this book as each chapter dives into answering either a stated question or there is an implied thought or question Rob addresses as he champions the complexity of the text, of humanity, and of God. Rob even goes as far early on in the book, as if to address this very thing, by saying “Great Question. Now, an answer.” (73) before diving into a topic.Second, one of the main criticisms of Rob is often that individuals and groups will often say that he doesn’t take the Bible seriously, or seriously enough. For one, I must say if anyone can dedicate writing 300+ pages on the Bible alone, I think their argument might be a bit off.The big three topics I see that individuals will have more questions or resistance with are on the Bible’s authority, inspiration, and inerrancy. Each of these topics can be discussed separately but are intimately linked to one another. Because they are so linked, these three topics ( taking an illustration from Rob’s first book Velvet Elvis) are often viewed as major sections or foundational blocks that make up a ‘wall’ that is the Christian faith. For some removing, challenging, or tweaking any of these blocks causes the whole wall of faith to fall apart and in turn, at the very worst, make the Christian faith useless. While for others, finally being given permission to think deeply on these matters and yes, even to question them is such a freeing opportunity.For those who find themselves in more of the former camp, I believe it would be helpful if you read first NT Wright’s “How Can the Bible Be Authoritative”. In this short 25 page article, Wright puts forth a similar argument to Bell by arguing that the Bible is not the ‘Word of God’ but rather is the word of God because The Word of God (Jesus) has chosen to work in and through the pages, poems, and people found within. Often, especially in Protestant streams of thought, we have conflated Scripture and preaching to a place of authority that only God can dwell and this is where Bell and Wright invite readers to rethink this approach.This is a major shift in thinking for many, which cause the other two topics to have to be addressed and thankfully Rob takes the time to go there.Third, nothing Rob is saying is new (I think I could say this for everyone one of Rob's books). What we see with Rob is simply one of Christianity’s best communicators acting as a springboard for individuals to dive deep in the stream of thought and discussions many thoughtful people have been having since it all began. This would be where I would have my biggest criticism of the book, in that I would love for it to be footnoted or for a footnoted version to become available. This would allow individuals, like myself, who want to explore more on some of things Rob touches on, to be able to engage the source material he is references throughout.

My Takeaway:

In short, I believe this to be Rob Bell’s best work to date.Like so much of what he does, Rob has the ability to start conversations with individuals and groups that have often felt disregarded or have left behind the Church for whatever reason. His writing invites everyone, regardless of religious stripe (or no stripe at all) into conversation and challenges those like myself, to find a fresh way to articulate the complexities of the Divine and life without simply glossing over or minimizing it. I do not say this lightly, but his closing section of the book called ‘A Note on Growing and Changing’ might contain some of the most important words he has ever written – these are words anyone who is or has or will wrestle with their faith and community need to hear again and again.At it’s very best, this book challenged me to fall in love again with the Bible and at it’s worst, humbled me and reminded me that there is so much more to learn and experience of God in the Bible and in the world we live._My GoodReads rating: 4/5To understand how I rate books, please check out the following post.

Last week I reviewed the book, 'Enneagram and the Way of Jesus' by AJ Sherrill. I used my normal format for books reviews, which consists of an introduction or what drew me to the book followed by a few brief thoughts on the writing and the content, then ending with what my takeaway was along with my GoodReads rating of it. This felt like a very simple way to help invite people into books that I've read and enjoyed.  

Then I got to thinking about it all these past few days.

And let me say this...I hate ratings.

Yes, hate them. Hate maybe an overstatement but I deeply struggle with them.

My struggle comes because I don't know what others are basing their ratings on.  Is ranking a lint roller 5 stars on the same level as ranking a restaurant 5 stars? Or can a song by Beethoven ever be rated the same as song by Coldplay? The answer is a resounding no of course.  

Now, some places help with ratings by allowing a written review to go along with the star rating, or Amazon even goes as far to add a hate it to love it scale next to the stars themselves for more clarity. All of these things have helped illuminate why someone rated the way they did but still allow for lots of personal preferences. I don't know how to necessarily trust someone's review I don't know, or contribute my own.

In many ways, what I attempt to do in how I rate some thing is an attempt to counter that. It's similar to how I believe grades in academia should work with grades meaning some thing like this:

A - Outstanding level of performance

B - High level of performance

C - Average/Satisfactory level of performance

D - Needs improvement of performance

F - Unsatisfactory level of performance

or in stars:

5 stars = highly transformational, breaking new ground - a work that most likely transcends it's current time period

4 stars = pushes the conversation forward, expands and offers individuals engagement points for their own learning

3 stars = solid work, invites individuals into more but needs work to engage all individuals on the matter

2 stars = nothing particularly stands out - good or bad - nor invites individuals to more.

1 star = the person did some thing, but it wasn't beneficial to anyone

This framework means that most work by a majority of individuals falls into the 'C'/3 star category. Which is not some thing that should be taken as shameful or inadequate but is actually completely acceptable and shows a good competence on a subject. I stumbled onto a quote from a professor at a private school, they were addressing trend of grade inflation over the years and how grades are viewed:

If I give someone a ‘C’ in my class right now it would be viewed not as denoting “average” or “acceptable” performance but rather as “failure” and “mediocrity.” In the distant past a ‘C’ was accepted as the “average” grade and an ‘A’ was seen as a reward for “exceptional performance beyond the call of duty” but now an ‘A’ is seen as “the default grade for someone who did all the homework and demonstrates some competence in the main concepts of the class.”

Truth be told, throughout my education I have experienced this a number of times as I was awarded many A's and B's on papers and for classes simply 'demonstrated competence' of concepts. I remember being shocked at receiving these grades but also watched as my fellow classmates would complain about receiving similar grades, believing they deserved more often because of the time they put into it.  

I saw a resistance to or belief that anything less than the 5 or A is inadequate.

In many ways, as this professor has stated, over the course of years, we have been trained to only accept highest grades/ratings as acceptable or 'average'.  

The reality is that most of us are just 'average' - yet we have just grown such an aversion to idea that we seek to avoid it all costs. It's unfortunate because in doing so we have lost the ability to clearly distinguish the experts, influencers and leaders in a field - and at it's worst have become to believe that we are the expert and can discount those who actually are.

I say all of this to say again... I hate rating.

I hate rating because it causes me to talk about of both sides of my mouth. I can say and believe all that I just wrote, then quick acknowledge that there is some thing very different when it comes to art or literature. Any sort of standardized rating system works great on items like a washing machine, where a product can be evaluated and compared using the same criteria. But when viewing piece of art, when hearing the opening chords of song, or reading a new thought or poem for the first time, those things have the ability to tug at us in ways we can't necessary quantify. These things have a way of rewiring our brains and clearing our thoughts in incredible ways.

So when it comes to forms of art or literature, it's not quite as easy. I can't help but think of this brilliant scene from Dead Poets Society that reminds us of that very fact:

Works of literature and art - in all it's forms - move us in different ways, and we must engage them differently. Ratings will never be perfect and in the end the important part is that we humbly engage whatever content that is in front of us well and describe our experience with it as honestly as we can.

So how then do you engage rating? I'd love to hear your thoughts and push back.   

My journey with the Enneagram goes back around 10 years. By no means, do I consider myself any sort of Enneagram expert although I do have a deeper familiarity with it from the countless conversations I have dealing with it along with studying it over that time. It has been used by a number of communities I have been a part of, leaned into by seminary professors I highly respect, and by many friends seeking after personal health and growth. Most recently, I have personally wrestled through discovering and rediscovering my 'number' which has led to deep personal reflection (and hopefully some transformation) while also spurring me to do some hard work of growing in relationship with God and others after becoming aware my tendencies in health and unhealth, and how another may receive me and my actions.

My first exposure to the Enneagram came through friends and the community at Mars Hill Bible Church. Interest grew on it because it was a completely different 'system' or method of understanding individuals (as compared to Strength's Finder, Myers/Briggs, etc.) which seeked not to limit or box in people but rather free people to thrive through leaning into the complexities that is within every person. Over the years, I have encountered a number of books that have helped unpack and expand my understanding of the Enneagram and myself. This past August, I was intrigued when it was announced that AJ Sherrill would be Mars Hill's new lead pastor and that he had focused on the Enneagram as part of his doctoral dissertation at Fuller. Soon after I saw that AJ had self-published 2 books already (respect) and that he had another on the way, this time leaning into the Enneagram and discipleship.

All of this to say, I was excited to pick up this book when it became available, Enneagram and the Way of Jesus: Integrating Personality Theory with Spiritual Practices and Biblical Narratives, and hope the following thoughts on it are helpful and encourage you to read.

The Writing:

I can't confirm this but I would venture a guess and say that this is a modified version of AJ's dissertation. Regardless, it is written in a very academic format and tone - especially the first half of the book.  If you are familiar with his preaching style, the language he uses and structure, it is much in the same vein so please do not let this discourage you. The book is still written in a very accessible manner, he does engage at a depth that for some may require additional reading to fully absorb.

The Content:

Though written in an academic format, the content is broken down in very manageable pieces. The book itself is only 108 pages, so AJ makes his way through a lot of content, very quickly. In many ways, the book serves as a good introduction to the Enneagram - giving a brief history, addressing questions individuals and groups have about its use, unpacking the types/triads/wings, and then giving the reader a practical next step.For those more familiar with the Enneagram, this book may leave you wanting. AJ isn't necessarily pushing into a new territory on the subject.  Where the book does hold its own is in the final third, when he spends time inviting readers into practices that their number type might best resonate with and posture themselves for not only personal growth but growing relationship in faith with God.

My Takeaway:

As mentioned in my introduction, the Enneagram at it's core is a tool that helps to free individuals. That said, I have often seen the Enneagram used in way that tries to constrict/explain away a person or their actions by well meaning individuals. I believe this comes from the influence of personality assessments that have attempted to lean more towards a testable/scientific approach, when by its very nature the Enneagram does not operate in such constructs.Early on the book I was able to put down any of these apprehensions I had when he wrote:

"People are not homogeneous creatures that can simply be reduced to a type to explain the totality of their existence. However, everyone resides within one core personality more than the others. This is the starting place to discovering one's uniqueness." (p.21)

AJ shows readers that the Enneagram provides a great starting point and 'homebase' for personal growth and how it then helps aid in one's process of becoming. With his turn in that last third of the book towards application for individuals in spiritual practices - AJ provides a step for each number by providing an example of how they might engage God in very practical manners through the use of Biblical examples.

He states, "Information is good, and application is better, but transformation is best." (p.85) This process of becoming or transformation is key. This book flushes out well the information and application aspects but with that said, I want more from this book in regards to transformation. Which I believe would come to no surprise to AJ as he even ends the book by giving a few ways for communities engage the topic further together.  His acknowledgement of this, leaves me to believe that he has much more to share - not only on how the Enneagram can help individuals grow but also on how it can help followers of Christ as a whole can grow in discipleship. I would love to have more of that written out. So fingers crossed, maybe there is another book to follow doing just that!

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it as it serves as a great introduction for people who are no familiar with the Enneagram but also gives a gentle push for those further down the road in their personal transformation to continue to seek after it. My GoodReads rating: 3/5